Do you remember when you were a kid and you made funny faces just to have your parents tell you that, “if you hold that face too long it’ll stay that way” and you just thought that was the silliest thing you ever heard as all you needed to do was change it at will?

In retrospect, there is truth to what your parents were telling you and there is truth to what you felt was possible in terms of returning to your original, so to speak, facial expression.  It’s well known that the more something is practiced and used the more it becomes second nature and, for many people, an autopilot like scenario develops where one doesn’t even really have to focus on it to accomplish the task.  This is best described through the example of driving.  After you have learned to drive fully you start doing it without involving yourself in the moment.  And it’s not uncommon to arrive at a destination to only realize that you don’t remember the trip there.  However, even though there is a natural adeptness to this approach and it has its value one must realize that this also applies to other undesirable behaviors that, in effect, create our present reality.

I’m an advocate of taking full responsibility for one’s life and that having a victim mentality predisposes one to being a victim.  I know its hard for some people to realize this, but the truth is that we can’t stand aside and play the blame game when we react through our programmed autopilot behaviors thus perpetuating the folly which is our life and continuing the struggle against our self.  That’s a mouthful, eh?! LOL  On a lighter note, a good movie to watch to get an understanding of the destructive nature of this, in a comedic fashion, is Click with Adam Sandler.  Until we become aware of our programmed responses we will continue enacting them each and every time the environmental stimulus is present.  Once we see these behaviors for what they are and take a step back, detaching from the situation to view ourselves objectively, then we will begin to notice how we sabotage our relationships in life and, with this new found clarity, begin to dismantle these doings one by one by not-doing them.

Remember as children when we thought how easy it was to return our face back to normal when we were chided for our silly facial expressions, the same willing applies to these behaviors.  Having taking the first step in recognizing the times we fall into autopilot and then also believing – a very powerful act – that we do have the power to change them, just like we felt about our facial expressions when we were younger, then all that is left is to not-do each and every one of those behaviors through our daily life experiences.

In a nutshell: first, we need to see that our self and behaviors are not one in the same thing; second, believe we have the power to change them; third, start undoing them by being aware in the moment and SHARP with an edge to our existence allowing us the speed to change those reactions (doings) to true actions (not-doings).

Happy trails y’all! 🙂